Time With Tandy

Inspirational author and speaker

Time With Tandy

Inspirational author and speaker

Blog

  • Forgetful? Not me!

    memory
    image from Pixabay

    My grandchildren think I’m getting old and forgetful. Age is just a number and most days I don’t feel old, so I can ignore that. It’s the forgetful part that hurts. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with my memory and to prove it I’m going to share a typical day with you. Maybe afterwards you can help me convince those kids I’m no more forgetful than anyone else.

    Yesterday I got up early and headed to the kitchen for breakfast. The toast was taking forever but at least the coffee was ready quickly. I removed my mug from the Kuerig to find a colourless liquid inside. Turns out I hadn’t replaced the coffee pod. When I reached for a new pod, I discovered my toaster was unplugged. Those things are easy to overlook early in the morning and I’m sure everyone does them.

    After breakfast, I threw a load of laundry in the washer and went to get dressed. Where was the antiperspirant I bought yesterday? I clearly remember taking it from the shelf and putting it in my shopping cart. Was I charged for it? I found my receipt and it was on there. That young cashier must have forgotten to put it in the bag. I hope the store will replace it for me.

    There was no sound from the washer so the load must be finished. My new front load washer had been confusing at first but I’ve got it all figured out now. I opened the door on my laundry closet to see there was still time left on the display. What went wrong? Why had it stopped? Carefully, I checked inside to discover everything was dry. Not knowing what else to do, I closed the door and hit the start button. The machine came to life. My problem-solving skills are quite impressive.

    While I was waiting for my laundry, I decided to call my friend, Sheila. I punched her number into my cell phone and nothing happened. The keypad looked a little different this morning and I couldn’t get a dial tone. Silly me, I opened the calculator by mistake. So many of these buttons look the same, it probably happens to lots of people.

    I put my laundry in the dryer and went to look for my car keys. I know I had them yesterday but I was a little flustered when I got home from the mall. My car was missing when I came back out with my shopping. I was beyond distressed and went back inside to report it stolen. The nice security guard drove me around the parking lot and we found it parked on the north side of the building. I could have sworn I parked on the south.

    I kept looking for my key fob until the dryer stopped. I’d resume my search after the laundry was folded and put away. Nothing was dry so I ran it through the cycle again. An hour later I was still faced with wet laundry, but I had found my keys. I must have left them in my pocket and that’s how they ended up in the wash.

    In the afternoon, an appliance repairman came to fix my dryer. He had a look and told me I’d left it on the air only setting. That explained why there was no heat. The good news was the repair bill was only for a service call so not too expensive.

    I don’t remember much about the rest of the day, so it couldn’t have been very interesting. I did have a pleasant surprise, though. When I was gathering ingredients to make dinner, I found my antiperspirant in the door of the fridge!

    I’m sure you’ll agree with me that my day contained the type of things that happen to everyone. So, who wants to help me convince my grandchildren that my memory is just fine?

  • The Ugly Stage

    unfinished, paintingAn art instructor gave advice on the painting I was working on. Personally, I thought it was beyond redemption and was tempted to give up. I could blame it on my lack of ability, the materials, or the environment but that wouldn’t change the ugly picture in front of me.

    Since it couldn’t get much worse, I decided to implement the tips I’d been given and carry on. The painting evolved and a tentative hope was born. When the final brushstrokes were made, I stepped back and looked at a work I didn’t think was possible. I was proud of what I’d accomplished.finished work

    Something the instructor told me echoed in my mind. “Every painting goes through an ugly stage. Keep going and don’t give up because you’re not finished yet.”

    We are in an ugly stage of life right now. The global pandemic has us in a holding pattern and I, for one, am getting impatient to move on. It feels like we’ve been stuck here forever.

    Even in this, I have options. One is to give up hope the situation will improve. When despair takes hold my thoughts turn to what might have been, rather than my current reality. I focus on what I’m missing and not what I have. During these times I’m tempted to blame everything around me for my negative attitude.

    The truth is, this picture is not finished yet. My better choice is to keep a positive outlook. Today’s decisions will impact my future so I need to be intentional with the brush strokes I make on this canvas of life. The picture is still evolving and I have hope for the outcome.

    The ugly stage won’t last forever. When it’s finished, I want to be able to look back with pride at the picture that’s been created.

  • Watch Your Step, BUT . . .

    winter, walkMost mornings find me walking down a side street until I reach the entrance of a local park. The paved path gives me the option of traversing the perimeter of the park or taking one of the many branches that veer off at different spots along the way.

    In winter conditions, I tend to stick to the same route. Even so, I encounter different challenges in various places. Within minutes one day I went from a clear dry path to a section where I had to pick my way carefully around icy patches, before a coming to some small snow drifts to wade through. snow drifts

    Not only does this keep the walk interesting, I know these kinds of changing conditions also apply to my walk of life. A brisk pace can quickly change to one where I have to watch my step. If I’m careful, I can get through it unscathed.

    A few days ago, I had another challenge on my walk. A skimming of snow appeared to give me solid footing. I quickened my pace and was caught unaware by the ice beneath. My foot slipped and my arms instinctively rose to a ninety-degree angle with my body. I felt like a tightrope walker, attempting to maintain my balance. Somehow, I managed to stay upright.

    My focus now was entirely on the next safe step to take. Although this sounds like a good thing, it did cause another issue. With my eyes downcast, I wasn’t fully aware of my surroundings. Before I realized it, I emerged at the side of a busy street. The diversion I normally took to my quiet route home had been passed by unawares.

    Lately, these winter walks have shown me not only to watch my step but also to look up and appreciate what’s around me so I don’t miss something important.

  • A Bathtub Full of Snow

    snowman, buildThe previous day’s heavy snowfall had left a large accumulation on our second story deck. We discussed the best way to remove it. If we tossed it by shovelfuls over the deck it would be blown onto the patio of our downstairs neighbour. Definitely not the best idea.

    The only option for disposal seemed to be in our bathtub. My husband scooped up a bin full of snow and I carried it inside and dumped it in the tub before returning the bin to him.

    We were surprised how many trips this took and how quickly the bathtub was filled. I took a couple of pictures and sent them to family. The caption said, “This is how I have to build a snowman when we don’t have a yard!”

    The more I thought about, the better this idea sounded. I told my husband what I was thinking and he encouraged me to do it.

    A large chunk of snow at one end of the tub would be perfect for the head. There wasn’t room to roll the snow into balls so I’d have to sculpt it. Maybe I could build it reclining. An idea for this project was forming in my mind. After much thought, I went to the fridge to choose the perfect carrot for Frosty’s nose.

    When I returned to the bathroom, I could see that my project was not going to happen. The snow had melted into one solid mass and was no longer moldable. By morning, all that remained were a few leaves and some dirt to remind me what could have been.

    I had the opportunity to do something unique and instead of going for it, thought about it until my window of opportunity passed. All my plans and good intentions mean nothing if I don’t act on them.

    All is not lost, though. When I have the opportunity to take a chance and do something different, I will think bathtub full of snow and not waste the opportunity.

  • The Puzzle of Life

    jigsaw puzzleFirst, I took all of the pieces out of the box and turned them right side up so I could see what I was working with. Then I separated the edge pieces and built the border or the framework to define the perimeter of the picture.

    This was when my analogy of a jigsaw puzzle to life began. I need to examine what I’m working with and know what my boundaries are.

    Within this framework are multiple pieces. Some come together quickly. Others require much trial and error before they find their own place. It is quite common to be working on several different areas before discovering how one or two pieces are able to join them together.

    I attempt to put similar colours and patterns together. The dark or shadowy ones aren’t as appealing but serve to make the brighter ones even more vibrant. The picture is starting to take shape.

    I hold a piece in my hand and think I know where it belongs. It isn’t quite right but I attempt to make it fit. This is where I want it to go, why isn’t it working? If I force it, the space will not be held for the piece meant to go there and the picture will not live up to the potential shown on the box. This is more difficult that I imagined and I wonder if the puzzle is ever going to come together.

    I move to a different position to view my work in progress. Another perspective helps me figure out where some of the extra pieces fit. I stand back to take an overall view and am happy with the progress made so far.

    My life, like the jigsaw puzzle, still has some pieces to be put into place. The time and effort I put into it now will one day result in a beautiful picture of who I was and how I lived my life.

  • A Different Path

    painting. lifePartway through an online painting tutorial we were told the next step was to draw a path that later would be surrounded by trees. The instructor demonstrated how to sketch this. Then she said, “Don’t be concerned with your path looking exactly the same as mine. Everyone’s path will be different.”

    I paused the lesson in order to catch up on my painting. Her words, however, remained with me.

    My path is my own and will not look the same as anyone else’s. How many times have I been concerned about the differences rather than appreciating the unique path I travel? Just because my journey isn’t the same as yours doesn’t make either one of us wrong.

    I have experienced frustration and disappointment when I’ve attempted to follow in the exact footsteps of someone I admired and not achieved the same results.

    My faulty reasoning said if you were successful, then my success will follow when I duplicate your steps.
    I failed to take into consideration that I am not you. My skillset and life experience vary from yours. Our definitions of success may also differ. We can learn from each other and adapt these lessons to create our own unique path.

    Sometimes I’m a slow learner. It took me a long time to figure out what was most important to me. Only then could I create a life of abundance and enjoy the diversions rather than striving to reach what I thought my goal should be.

    Now I’m creating my path as I travel and it’s taking me to some amazing places. The picture of my life has less stress and is far more colour as it evolves into the work of art it was meant to be.

  • A Frosty Lesson

    Nature, hoarfrostClimatic conditions needed to be perfect produce the spectacular view I was looking at. Tree branches coated with hoarfrost are a sight that thrills me.

    The majority of my life was lived on Canada’s west coast and I’d never experienced this particular beauty until we moved to Alberta fifteen years ago.

    I’d seen my share of frost, but nothing as photogenic as the feathery type that forms on blades of grass, tree branches and leaves. Hoarfrost is so much more than a simple coating of ice crystals.

    Several times during the day, I sat and gazed at the beauty. Instead of venturing into the frigid air for a closer look, I enjoyed the view from my warm living room. By mid-afternoon the temperature hadn’t risen but a wind had come up, loosening the frost. Bit by bit, the ice and its weight was removed and blown away.

    This scene reminded me of problems and cares in life. Like many others, I put on a brave face and tell you everything is fine. Even if I don’t feel that way, it’s important to ensure everything looks good on the surface. I sometimes forget that ice, no matter how pretty, still feels cold.

    When I acknowledge my need to be authentic and relational the frosty mask starts to fall away. By sharing my concerns with others, I am able to surrender the many items I have no control over. The icy bits that were weiging me down get blown away by the warm breeze of companionship. Together we find peace.

  • 6 Months Later

    move, update“Are you all settled in?” and “How are you adjusting to condo life?” are questions I’m frequently asked. I used this blog to talk about the process of our downsize and move, so six months later, thought it was a fitting place to give an update.

    The answer to the first question is, “Yes.” We are happy and feel completely at home.

    The adjustment to condo life has been easier than I expected. Hiccups in the transition process have been few.

    The fact I don’t miss the space I had or the things I had to give up has been a huge surprise. When I had the space, stuff accumulated. “I might need this one day,” became the excuse for holding on to and tucking things aside.

    The process of letting go showed me I had been living in a ‘lack of’ mentality rather than a spirit of abundance. A silly example of this was the bag full of elastic bands I had in a kitchen drawer. Can anyone relate to this?

    Kathi Lipp, a speaker and author on subjects like living clutter free and getting yourself organized, said something that helped me deal with a few  of the bigger things I was holding onto. “Not everything that comes into your hands is meant to stay in your hands” gave me permission to pass along items I’d never use but felt some sort of attachment to. I was able to send them to new owners who would appreciate them. Instead of guilt, I felt freedom.

    The smaller space I now live in is the amount of space I actually used in our larger home. Not only do I have all the room I need, I have found the lack of clutter in my personal space equates to less clutter in my mind. I now have more time and energy to use in ways that bring joy.

    I find it ironic to know the process I initially fought was what brought me more of what I needed to live my best life.

  • Which Way Do I Go?

    direction, arrowsYellow arrows painted on the paved pathway clearly indicate the direction foot traffic should flow.

    I understood why this was necessary during the busy evening events planned for the park. My dilemma was wondering if I needed to follow these directions during my morning walk, when no crowds were present. I entered the park on foot, on the opposite side from the parking lot, so was already going the opposite direction.

    After glancing around to ensure no one else would be entering this section of walkway, I strode in opposition to the painted markers. What I did caused no harm to anyone but still left me feeling slightly guilty.

    This was about much more to me than following arrows marked on the ground. I have often had to make a decision between taking the designated route or following my own path. What seems to be best or most convenient for me is not always what I should do. My conscience is sometimes in opposition to my will.

    These days we are faced with many decisions and opinions. Which way I go is ultimately up to me. I can follow the guidelines and social conventions or I can oppose them, certain that my rights are more important than my compliance.

    If my choice causes harm, intentional or not, I will be faced with guilt and remorse. For that reason, I cannot allow personal beliefs to be the cause of disregarding the rules. When it comes to the direction I need to go, it’s seldom as easy as following painted arrows.

  • Do You Have to Come in First to Win?

    competition, virtualAt the time of this writing, I’ve been doing an online, self-paced Spanish course for 270 days.

    In order to move to the next level of learning I have to reach a certain ranking for the week. Sometimes it takes a few weeks to score enough points to move ahead. Too few points and I could be demoted to the previous level.

    A few times I didn’t put in enough effort and barely maintained my standing. This bothered me so I now strive to remain in the top twelve.

    Last week I checked my score and discovered I was in first place! It was only day one of the week so, while excited, I knew it might not last. The next morning, I had dropped to second place so spent a little longer online and regained my standing.

    This is the way it continued for several days. My competitive nature had me spending more and more time each day. Sometimes I went online a second time to check my score and do another quick lesson. I wanted to finish the week as number one and get the virtual rewards that position offered.

    With less than two days to go, someone surpassed me by so many points I would have to spend about three hours each day rather than my daily one hour. If I did this there was a good possibility I could win!

    The voice of reason asked me what the cost would be. Time with my husband would pay the price, as would many other pleasures.

    As if that weren’t bad enough, when I race through lessons, more intent on gathering points than learning, my retention diminishes. Foolish mistakes are made. Was the intent to learn the language or to come first in this level?

    I listened to reason. That left time to bake muffins, go for a walk with my husband, email a childhood friend and work on a writing project. Although I didn’t finish in first place, what I spent my time on definitely made me a winner.