Imperfectly Perfect

A strong north wind had been blowing for several days. My son and I had been waiting for more favourable conditions so we could scatter some of Brian’s ashes along the beach that meant so much to him.

Our time to do this was running out as C was flying home the next day. Despite the wind, we headed out just before sunset. Emotions ran high as we wondered how we would know the right spot to stop. Nothing was preplanned. This experience was totally led by our hearts.

I stopped in front of an abandoned house. The ravages of storms had taken their toll on this house, just as the ravages of disease had attacked Brian since his last time on this beach. Somehow this seemed like an appropriate place.

We each took a turn, standing close to the water’s edge as the waves came in, shaking some ashes from the cardboard scattering tube. The tube was covered with a sunset scene over water. So fitting for this time and place.

No matter how far I leaned over the water, the wind blew the ashes back onto the sand. With great insight, C said, “This is the way it was meant to be. Dad loved walking along the beach but didn’t like to go in the water.” Perfect.

Before we turned to go back home, I sent a message to Brian on the wings of the wind. I told him I would always love him and never let his memory deteriorate and be abandoned like the house on the beach behind us. His legacy of love would live on.

Darkness had almost settled over us as we walked back. I glanced behind me and saw the cloud had parted enough so we were able to witness a beautiful sunset over the water.

We may not have known what the time and conditions would be for this emotional and symbolic event, but God did and he worked everything out perfectly.